The Headcanon Anomaly
by superloudean
Summary: Based on the amazing Marvel Headcanons found on tumblr, get ready for games, movie marathons, confessions, pranks, extreme hairstyles and a very grumpy looking Fury. Warning: The following one-shots may contain laughter. No slash. {Requests are very welcome.}
1. Dodgeball

Hello everybody! Reporting for duty with a new story. Well its actually a series of long one-shots about the Avengers and other Marvel characters. If you are on tumblr you must have heard about Marvel headcanons. Apologies if there is a similar fic to this, i assure its unintentional.

I just saw the other days, the Dodgeball Headcanon and i thought to myself that i have to write that! So if you have a fav headcanon you'd like to read just send it to me and i'll have it done.

i own absolutely nothing. Enjoy

(Dodgeball Headcanon found on tumblr, users: hornswaggler and deprofundisclamoadte)

* * *

Dodgeball

Steve Rogers was a patient man. Well, most of the times.

Currently, he was trying to watch some television in silence, but a certain billionaire-philanthropist had other plans.

"Steve, Steeeve, Stevie, Steve, Stephen, Steve, Steeeeevie." Tony started saying and poking Steve's bicep with his finger.

Steve remained unfazed.

"Steeeve, Steve, Stevie, Cap, Captain, Captain, Steve, Capsicle, Cappuccino, Cap, Steeeve, Stevie, Dorito, Dorito, Cap…"

"WHAT?!" he broke.

"Hi!" he greeted with a giggle and run away from him.

With a defeated look, Steve placed his head on his hands and sighed deep. "I hate my life."

* * *

Natasha Romanoff was silently eating her apple. She rolled her eyes when she caught from her corner of her eye, Tony trying to remain hidden.

"Nataaaash-" the moment his finger touched her shoulder, the red-head punched Tony in the gut.

Hard.

The billionaire doubled over in pain. "Oooh! What the hell was that Widow!?"

She took a bite out of her apple. "I don't like people poking me."

"Wow, you really put the double ass in assassin, Romanoff." Tony said in which she smirked proudly.

"Why are you harassing us?" she asked him, when he caught his breath.

He shrugged. "I'm bored."

"Why are you bugging us then? You have a ton of things to do."

"Yeah, but none of them are fun." He grinned and the assassin sighed.

"Jarvis please call the rest of the team. Tell them is a code Gold."

" _Right away Miss Romanoff_."

* * *

Ten minutes later, all the Avengers, minus Thor, were gathered in the living room. The last one to come in, was none other than Clint Barton.

"I came as fast as I could." The archer breathed. "How serious is it?"

Steve crossed his hands over his chest. "It's a level 3."

"Already? Maan."

Tony curiously eyes all the occupants of the room. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Uh." Bruce started unsure of himself. "You tend to be a little, how to say it."

"Obnoxious." Steve, Natasha and Clint said all together.

"….when you are bored." Bruce finished.

Tony was offended at first but after a little thought he shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head in agreement.

"So." Tony clapped his hands together. "What's the plan?"

* * *

"Dodgeball?" Tony asked skeptically and eyed the balls that were on the floor. They had moved into one of the many training rooms that were housed in the Tower.

"Dodgeball." Clint repeated with a grin on his face.

"Okay let's do this." Steve said as he stretched his arms. "Which are the teams?"

Bruce raised his hand. "For obvious reasons, I'll be the ref." he said and everyone nodded. No one wanted to play dodgeball with the Hulk.

Tony pointed at the assassin's duo. "I think it will be unfair for the two of you to team up."

"Dibs on Steve!" Clint suddenly yelled and ran towards Steve's side.

"Oh come on!" Natasha complained, as she realized that she would team up with Stark.

Tony frowned and pointed a finger at her. "It's an honor young lady. Besides…what Cap has that I don't?"

Clint chuckled. "Hellooo? Have you seen his biceps?" he gestured at Steve, and the blond blushed.

"Um, can we start the game?" he said shyly.

And with that, the two teams faced each other and with Bruce's signal they ran towards the balls.

* * *

In Tony's defense, he was doing really well in the game.

The two teams were throwing balls at each other for ten minutes now and no one had been eliminated, except from Steve, whom Natasha managed to eliminate from the game, but Clint brought him back when he caught a ball.

Steve saw his opportunity when Tony went to scratch behind his knee, and nailed him right in the chest with the red ball.

"OUT!" Bruce yelled and motioned for Tony to get out.

Sighing hard, Tony sent a glare to the captain and stepped aside. He was too busy trying to catch his breath to call him colorful names.

The two men stared cockily at Natasha.

Actually it was just Clint. Steve was looking at her with caution in his eyes.

"Just the three of us boys." She smirked and dodged gracefully an attack from Clint.

"GIVE THEM HELL WIDOW! WHOOO!" Tony cheered.

"We have her Cap, chill." Clint smirked as he hailed another ball at her.

She dodged again, making Steve very nervous. She had the 'hey sailor' smile as he dubbed to call it, after a mission.

Right at that moment and quick as lightning, Natasha hailed a ball right in the middle of the Captains right knee.

"OUT!" Bruce yelled again in which Tony cheered and grinned when the Captain sat down next to him.

Now, it was down to assassin vs assassin.

Grabbing a ball in her hands, Natasha throw it straight to Clint's head, but the bowman threw his ball in the same direction, making the balls collide.

"Showoff." She mumbled.

Cracking his shoulders, Clint smirked. "Let's end this." He said and with the accuracy of the master bowman he was, he hailed the ball towards Natasha.

And right in the center of her face.

Everyone froze.

The ball fell to the ground, revealing a trail of blood running down Nat's nose.

Clint's eyes widened. "Oh no."

The red-head simply stared at him, not even making a move to wipe the blood. She simply uttered one word.

"Run."

"Aaaaah!" the master bowman dashed off screaming into the distance.

* * *

They found him hours later hidden in the rafters of the tower.

"Come on man." Tony said. "It's okay, she's gone."

Clint's eyes were maniacally looking around.

"NO SHE ISN'T! SHE'S JUST WAITING!"

Sighing hard, Tony left the trembling assassin in peace for now.

* * *

*Much more later*

Steve found Natasha in the living room watching some TV.

"Come on Natasha. It's been three days."

"I know."

"He hasn't moved a muscle. He is terrified that you will do something to him."

"I know." She said and popped a popcorn in her mouth.

Steve sighed and placed his hands on each side of his waist.

"You are not going to do anything, are you?"

"Nope."

"You are a mean person you know that?"

She smirked and popped another pop-corn in her mouth.

"I know."

That would serve as a lesson to Clint Barton.

But Natasha wasn't that mean. She'd go and fetch him.

Another smirk.

Eventually.

* * *

Tada! Was that awful? good? bad? please let me know! ^_^ If you liked this chapter, i'm gonna write more. Send me in the review your fav headcanon. It could be the Avengers watching a movie to...them going to the beach. It could be anything really. ( u can add any character really, like Bucky, wink wink)


	2. On your left

Oh my! i'm so happy that you guys enjoyed my effort ^_^ Your reviews mean the world to me! So as a present another quick headcanon found on tumblr by user ikolism

Hope you like it! i own nothing!

* * *

On your left

Sam Wilson was enjoying the light breeze of the day. The wind was caressing his cheek as he was jogging. And most important thing, he was alone.

He smiled to himself, feeling content.

Nothing could ruin his day.

"On your left!"

Or so he thought.

"What? Nooo!" Sam complained when he saw the familiar back of Captain America. He was supposed to be on a mission.

Sam ran faster but still saw Steve running towards him.

"Don't you say-"

"On your left!"

"COME ON!"

* * *

The next day, Sam made sure not to have Steve crushing his jog, so he went late at night.

There was no way, he would follow.

Right?

Twenty minutes went by and not a sign of Steve. That made Sam sigh in relief.

Then he heard it.

Someone was running behind him. He dare not turn around as he knew.

"Please don't, please d-"

"On your left!"

"NOO! FUCK OFF STEVE."

"LAAAANGUAGE." The Captain yelled after he passed Sam, who stopped jogging and turned around immediately to go home, mumbling about stupid super soldiers.

* * *

The day after that, Sam was determined to exercise in peace. So he went to another place to jog. Surely, Steve wouldn't follow now.

He completed his second lap around the park and stopped for a breather. With his hands on his knees, he suspiciously looked around the park for any sign of the Captain.

None so far. It looked like he was going to get his peaceful jog.

Taking a deep breath, he started his routine once again.

Nearing his fourth lap, he was so focused on his jogging that he didn't hear the two set of running footsteps coming his way.

"On your left!"

"Noo! Not again."

Then a second voice.

"On your right!"

Sam nearly tripped. "Whaat?" his eyes wide as saucers, he didn't realize at fist who the second voice was.

It was the second time around that he realized, who the man was.

"ON YOUR LEFT!" Steve shouted, making Sam flinch from the sudden appearance. This time he slowed down to jog beside Sam.

"On your right!" The man slowed down as well, from the right side.

"Fuck you, Barnes!"

Bucky turned his head to stare at Steve. "You were right. It is funny. Ha 'right' get it Sam?"

Sam slowed down and stared at Bucky with a blank look. "Hilarious."

"Come on Sam, cheer up." Steve said with a wide grin.

"Maan, shut up."

"How does it feel, to be outrunned by two 90-year olds?" Bucky asked, his long hair up in a ponytail, his metal arm stretched towards Sam, his fist closed as if he was holding a microphone.

Sam just stopped dead in his tracks, flipped the bird at both soldiers and left towards the opposite direction.

Bucky frowned. "What's his problem?"

Steve shrugged and continued running.

* * *

This continued for at least a week. Sam going to jog and Steve and Bucky showing up.

But today was different.

Today, Steve and Bucky reached the park, waiting for Sam to show up but…nothing.

Sam Wilson was nowhere to be seen.

"Hm, do you think he is mad at us?" Bucky asked and Steve continued to look around, worried.

"God, I hope not. We were just joking." He didn't want to lose Sam's friendship.

Then they heard it.

"ON YOUR _ABOVE_ ASSHOLES!" They ducked as Sam with his Falcon gear, swooped over their heads, leaving them behind.

Annoyed Steve and Bucky crossed their hands over their chests and looked up. They saw Falcon forming letters up in the sky.

Steve narrowed his eyes as he started spelling.

"S…U…C…well that's just rude."

They could hear Falcon laughing his ass off in the distance.

* * *

You gotta love Sam! ^_^ hope you liked it! If you have a fun headcanon, don't be shy, feel free to send it my way. :)

Next on Headcanon Anomaly: the Avengers watching...the Avengers ;)


	3. The Avengers ?

What's up guys? hope you are having an amazing time ^_^ i'm here with another chapter. So listen up, this chapter is a lot bigger than usual so, apologies. i just hope you enjoy it.

Hey, AvengersFann, sorry for the language, i'll try and tone it down for you, no hard feelings? ^_^ And of course i take requests.

Today's headcanon i owe to the lovely **shadowhuntingdauntlessdemigod**

I own nothing.

Enjoy!

* * *

The Avengers?

Tony Stark was feeling giddy. He finally got on his hands what he was waiting for months now.

Smirking, he walked towards the large living room of the tower, where his teammates were waiting for him.

"It's here!" he announced, waving a black case in the air.

The rest of the team just looked at him with raised eyebrows. They all had gotten the text from Tony that were needed here ASAP.

"Are you going to tell us or…" Clint started saying, as he made himself comfortable next to Natasha on the couch.

Tony pointed a finger at him. "Better yet, I'm going to show you." He opened the case and to their surprise, it contained a simple DVD.

"We are watching a movie?" Steve asked and crossed his arms over his chest. He was sitting to the other side of Natasha.

"After what happened last week?" Bucky voiced his doubts from the second couch. Tony sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Listen Terminator, how the heck could I know that Bruce would hulk out by watching Inception?"

All eyes turned to Bruce, who was sitting next to Thor and Bucky.

"THE TOP WOBBLED!" he yelled and Bucky nodded his head.

"Yeah, it was obviously going to fall over." He said and Clint face palmed.

"Oh come on! The top was obviously _not_ going to fall over. He was dreaming."

Seeing Bruce's agitation, Tony decided to interrupt. "Shut up and listen to me." He walked towards the DVD player and popped the disc in.

"They made us into a movie! How great is that?" he announced with a grin on his face.

"What!?" everyone exclaimed in synch. Tony shook his head and went to sit next to Steve.

"I'm telling you…Hollywood made a movie about us. They called it 'The Avengers.' And I got an early copy."

Bucky scoffed. "That's original." He commended about the name.

"You are just jealous you are not in it. Jarvis, lights and roll the movie."

"Yes, sir."

"Stop!" Natasha suddenly yelled and everyone looked at her.

"What about pop-corn?"

Thor raised his hammer. "I'll make some."

"NO!"

* * *

After they made some pop-corn (no, not by Thor) they finally started the movie.

They saw the beginning of the movie where someone was kneeling in front of a throne, obviously in space.

The cloaked stranger started talking and the camera panned over to Loki. The man continued talking to the one sitting on the throne. _"The world will be his. The universe yours. And the humans, what can they do but burn?"_

"Well that's dramatic." Tony commended and grabbed a handful of pop-corn.

"Shut up, Tony."

* * *

The scene cut to many soldiers running around and helicopters flying in the sky. They saw an agent dressed in a fancy dark suit who wore black shades.

"Is that Coulson?!" Clint asked.

"I think he is?" Natasha answered. The similarity to the real Coulson was uncanny.

"Is he wearing sunglasses at night?" Bucky asked with a frown on his face. "That's not right."

Natasha and Clint shared a look. "It's Coulson, alright."

The continued watching and gasped when Nick Fury appeared on their screen.

"Hey!" Steve beat everyone to it. "It's the same actor as Star Wars, right? With the purple lightsaber?" everyone nodded. Tony was impressed.

"Damn, even the eyepatch is spot on."

* * *

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP THIS IS ME!"

"No one said anything." Steve calmly said to Clint, who was sitting on the edge of the couch.

' _That can be harmful. Where's Barton?'_ the heard Nick Fury ask.

' _The Hawk? Up in his nest, as usual.'_

The camera panned over to the man sitting on the railings, dressed in black tactical gear.

"WHOO!"

"Shut up, Barton." Natasha said and pushed him onto the back of the couch.

"Did you see me, Tasha? I'm stunning! Well not as stunning and hot as real me but he is gooood."

* * *

They sat silently as they watched movie Loki make his grant entrance and attacking the Shield facility. They awkwardly looked over at Hawkeye when Loki put him under his spell.

He was hooked on watching, so they didn't comment at this.

After Loki made his escape, the scene changed to show someone beating Natasha Romanoff.

"Wow the casting directors are good." Tony said as he looked back forth between the TV and the red head sitting on the couch.

"Eh." She commended. "She's alright. The hair's good."

The scene went on with Natasha beating down the Russian guy and talking on the phone with Coulson.

' _Coulson, you know that Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me.'_ Movie Natasha said and Tony opened his mouth to say something but Natasha beat him to it.

"I never said that." She raised her eyebrow. "My choice of words were more…colorful."

"Now _that_ I can believe."

* * *

A little girl was running through the crowd, trying to force a way through.

"Wait, what is this?" Bucky asked. He didn't remember Steve telling something about India.

"That would be me." Bruce said as he reluctantly raised his hand. "Can we fast forward this?"

"Uh…no." Tony dragged the o and smirked.

They saw Natasha talking with Bruce and eventually the man yelling at Widow, who grabbed the gun that was strapped under the table.

"Maan." Clint said. "Did it really went down like this?"

Bruce removed his glasses to wipe them. "More or less." He shrugged.

"Romanoff you are a queen." Her partner said and she smirked.

"I know."

* * *

If Steve knew that he was the one featured in the next scene, he would stand up and leave.

"Come on guys stop it." He blushed as his teammates cheered and wolf whistled.

"Work it baby!"

"Shake that ass."

He blushed harder at the comments. The scene simply showed movie Steve, punching a bag in the gym.

Another whistle.

"Shame on you Thor." He said and the god laughed. "Apologies friend Steve, but I couldn't resist."

Steve turned to look at his best friend. "You are a traitor." He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Come on guys, cut it out." Bucky shouted and everyone calmed down, much to Steve's liking. "If he gets any redder he'll turn into a tomato."

"Thanks Buck." Steve said sarcastically and blushed more.

They laughed.

* * *

The team decided not to react when movie Tony appeared on screen. They instead commended on Pepper.

"They should built that woman a statue." Natasha said and everyone nodded.

"She is the true Avenger." Steve clapped a hand down Tony's shoulder. "Having to put up with Tony…wow!"

Tony had enough.

"Is no one going to comment on me? I picked the guy personally! He is the hottest one in Hollywood."

Silence.

"You knew about the movie all along?!"

Tony's eyes slowly widened.

"Moving on."

* * *

"Barton pass the bowl." Bucky told the bowman but he didn't listen. He was too focused on the movie. The assassin grabbed a pillow and hailed at him.

It caught him on the side of his head.

"Hey! Can't you see I'm watching myself?" he said and pointed at the TV. Movie Hawkeye was stealing the iridium. "I need to know what happens to me."

Natasha stared at him. "You know what happens!"

"Oh…yeah."

* * *

They had Loki in the Quinjet. And everybody knew what that meant.

"HAMMER TIME!" Tony yelled and Thor clapped his hands.

"Let's see if the mortal is worthy!"

They silently watched Movie Thor grabbing Loki and dropping out of the jet.

"Hmm. He certainly has the charisma of a son of Odin."

"Modest as always, Thor." Bucky mumbled and the god, playfully elbowed him.

The scene changed to Ironman and Thor fighting.

' _Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?'_

They rolled their eyes, when Tony started laughing.

Wiping a tear from his eye, he calmed down. "Man I'm hilarious."

* * *

They saw the rest of the movie in peace.

"Jarvis, lights." Tony asked his A.I when the credits started rolling. "So…what did you think?"

"I liked it." Clint said as he stretched on the couch. Everyone agreed.

"The details were impressive." Natasha said. "They even captured Steve's grandad clothing."

"Hey!" Everyone chuckled and the captain frowned and started mumbling something ignorant assassins.

"For me the best part was when I heroically stepped up and saved the day." Tony said with a proud face.

Clint shoved his face in his hands. "Not this again."

"It was stupid, endangering yourself like this." Bucky said, hands on his waist.

"It was brave, not stupid. And if you are looking for stupid, just look at your Capsicle."

Steve's eyes widened and made a motion with his hand to stop talking.

"What do you mean?"

"Weeell, my dad once told me that the brave Captain America, before he was given the serum, selflessly threw himself on a grenade."

Bucky slowly turned his head to stare at Steve.

"You…did…WHAT?"

Steve started sweating. "Ah…it's not what it sounds like."

"It's not? Because it sounded like you BEING STUPID. ARE YOU STUPID STEVE? LITERARY A BREEZE COULD KILL YOU BACK THEN AND YOU THREW YOURSELF ON A GRENADE? _A GRENADE_?" the rest of the team were trying hard not to laugh.

Steve suddenly felt small again. "It was a dummy grenade Buck. It was a test. But we are getting out of subject! The movie was great, no? I enjoyed it. Let's talk more about the movie!"

Bucky narrowed his eyes. He would let this go. For now.

"Hey." Clint suddenly said and stood up. "Did anyone else noticed this chemistry between movie Nat and movie Bruce?"

Everyone looked at him like he grew a second head.

"NO!" Bruce and Nat said after sharing a look.

"That was random." Tony said and laughed. "Ha, Brucie and Red. Now I've heard it all."

"Hm, must be the only one."

* * *

Tada! I'm looking forward to your comments ^_^ hope you liked it. Sorry i couldn't write the whole movie, but that would take like forever. Stay tuned for the next headcanon and remember that you can pitch in ideas as well :)


	4. The Discount

Hey guys! I'm so happy that you enjoyed the previous chapter ^_^ A million thanks to those who read, reviewed and put this story to their alerts :)

Today's headcanon i found on tumblr (where else?) by users: steeverogers, numenorss (now grancontessa) and siderefposts

i own nothing!

Enjoy!

* * *

The discount

Clint Barton had a long day before him.

So the best thing to start his day was to go to his favorite place to get a cup of coffee.

He breathed in the fresh smell of coffee when he stepped inside Starbucks and smiled when he saw that the line was small.

He walked up to the barista and gave him his order.

"That would be $4.65, sir."

Nodding, he grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and opened it.

 _Shit_ , he thought when he saw that he was one dollar short. _Now what?_

His mind went into overdrive, he had to do something fast. He couldn't just cancel his order.

 _Hmm_ _what if?_ He thought when his eyes caught sight of his special Avenger ID.

Confidently, he smacked the id on the counter. "Um, how much is it with my Avengers discount?" he asked, and the barista stilled.

"Avengers discount?"

"Yeah." He said smiling. "You know, saving the world and stuff. Risking my life on daily basis…an Avenger." He took his black shades off and posed as if holding a bow.

The barista's eyes widened. "Oh my god, you are Hawkeye!"

He winked at the kid. "One and only."

Now giddy from excitement, the barista took hold of his ID. "Wow, err give me one second to ask my manager." He said and took off.

Smirking to himself, Clint nodded. _If this works, I'm so telling Tasha_.

A minute later, the barista came back, his manager walking behind.

The woman smiled at Clint and shook his hand. "Always a pleasure to serve an Avenger." She said and Clint grinned.

"That would be $2, sir." The barista said with a shy smile and gave Clint back his ID.

Clint payed, while fighting to break into a dance right there. The woman handed him the coffee. "Thank you for saving the world."

He flashed her a charming smile.

"Just doing my job."

* * *

He stepped out of Starbucks feeling good.

While sipping his coffee, he kept thinking where else he could use his Avenger ID.

His eyes fell on the McDonalds across the street.

Grinning wildly, he crossed the street in a hurry and practically stormed inside the fast food restaurant.

He frowned momentarily when he saw that there were three long lines but he shrugged and continued walking towards the counter.

"Sorry, excuse me, Avenger coming through." He said as he passed the people waiting in the line, while showing his ID. "Actual hero coming through, sorry, i saved the world you know, yes you are welcome. Nope, no autographs, sorry."

"Official Avenger, coming through. Sorry." He passed an older lady. "Sorry ma'am, step aside, official avengers business. Yes I do work with Captain America. Why yes, he does smell like freedom and justice."

* * *

After he drank his coffee and ate his cheeseburger, he decided to call it a day and return back to the Shield HQ, where he needed to be debriefed for his next mission.

He looked at his watch.

He really needed to go. Like right now.

Hoping onto Cap's motorcycle, which he totally borrowed, he didn't bother with a helmet. He just put on his sunglasses out and left.

Clint was speeding. Like over the speed limit.

"Come _on_." He groaned, when he saw the policeman behind him, flashing his lights to pull over.

He flashed the officer a charming smile. "What seems to be the problem officer?"

"Sir, you were going over the limit. License and registration, please."

"Uh…"

The officer narrowed his eyes at him.

"I don't have them on me right now BUT." Clint said remembering and took out his Avenger ID.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" the officer asked unamused.

"Uh, hello? It's my Avenger ID. I'm an Avenger. That means I save the world and stuff." He saw the officer writing him the ticket. "Uh…no that won't be necessary. Didn't you hear I am an Avenger? We saved the world? You are welcome by the way."

Raising an eyebrow, the officer handed Clint the ticket. "Have a nice day, Avenger."

Clint just stood there, watching the officer's retrieving back. "Well, that sucked."

* * *

Two weeks later, Steve and Natasha decided to go to Starbucks to grab their coffees.

"Trust me Steve, their coffee is good." Natasha said and walked up to the counter. She gave the barista her order and moments later Steve gave his.

"Do you have your Avengers ID Captain Roger's for the discount?"

Steve gave the kid a black stare.

"What? There's no such thing as A-" Natasha elbowed Steve in the gut and proceeded to slam down on the counter her own ID.

"Yes, we both need the discount, thank you." She said politely.

Steve stared at her with a 'what the heck' expression. He was still confused. And slightly in pain.

Nat was smirking and reminding herself to high five Clint next time she sees him.

* * *

there it is! How can you not love Clint? :) Looking forward to your comments about today's chapter!


	5. Wanda vs Tony

Heeey! Hope you are all having an awesome time ^_^ Today's chapter, i will admit, it's not one of my best but i think it will give you a few chuckles. Also its one of these chapters that you have to imagine it. Especially the second part.

Headcanon idea by **Dearmoviegoers** and **shadowhuntingdauntlessdemigod** sorry if i dissapoint...

i own nothing.

Enjoy!

* * *

Prank Wars

Wanda vs Tony

"STAAARK!"

The man in question cringed when he heard the newest edition of the Avengers shout his name.

Steve sighed. "What did you do this time Tony?"

"Nothing." He said and shrugged his shoulders.

Bruce, Clint and Natasha that were in the room as well, snickered loudly.

"Nothing… like the time you changed Fury's eyepatch to a Hello Kitty one?" Bruce asked and sipped at his coffee.

"Or like the time you gave Bucky a blond perm?" Clint said. "Which was hilarious by the way."

"It seems like we are about to find out." Natasha called, as she heard Wanda coming towards them.

"You are dead." She called when she entered the kitchen area.

Everyone froze when they saw her.

There she stood, wearing a red bikini and red cape.

And nothing else.

"You said, you were going to make me better armor." She pointed her finger at Tony, her accent more heavy than usual.

He lifted an eyebrow.

"Is there a problem with it?"

Natasha face palmed.

Clint was smirking as he was watching Wanda.

Steve was looking at his feet blushing.

And Bruce was staring at the ceiling.

Wanda's eyes widened. "I WOULDN'T WEAR THIS TO THE BEACH, STARK!"

"Now you are being dramatic, Sabrina."

"You sexist bastard…you will fix this." She said furious, ignoring the nickname.

Rolling his eyes, the billionaire sighed. "You wouldn't know a joke if it bite you in the ass Charmed one. Fine, you will get a new suit." He said.

"Can I keep the cape?"

"NO!"

He whined. "But it looks cool!"

"I said no!"

At that exact moment, they saw a silver blur passing at them and stopping next to Wanda.

It was none other than her brother Pietro.

"Hello." He greeted happily and stopped short when he saw his sister. "WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?" He shouted.

He looked at her again.

"WHAT ARE YOU _NOT_ WEARING?" He shouted again, mouth open.

He turned around and noticed that apart from Natasha, the rest of the occupants of the room were men.

"STOP STARING AT MY SISTER YOU PERVERTS!" he grabbed Wanda bridal style and speeded out of the room.

"Ha! I bet he didn't see that coming."

"Shut up, Clint."

* * *

"MAXIMOFF!"

Wanda grinned, when she heard the billionaire calling her name. It was only fair for her to give Tony's suit a makeover, right?

"Why is friend Tony shouting?" Thor asked no one in particular.

Steve saw the female twins sinister grin, so he more or less figured it out. "Wanda?" he asked and the girls head snapped towards him.

With her most innocent expression, she spoke. "Yes, Steve?"

Pietro, who was next to Steve, chuckled.

"Nevermind." The captain said. He didn't want any part in these shenanigans.

Tony Stark entered the room.

"OH MY GOD, MY EYES!" Clint shouted.

"Jesus…" Steve mumbled, his hand covering his eyes.

"I'M BLIND!" Clint shouted again.

"THIS IS HIGHLY AMUSING!" Thor yelled and continued to laugh.

Natasha said nothing. She simply raised an elegant eyebrow.

Tony was wearing his Ironman armor.

Or the improved version of the Ironman armor.

"This is not funny." Tony said and looked around. Everyone were trying not to laugh.

"It kinda is." Steve said as he avoided to look at his teammate.

Tony's body was covered in his usual red and cold suit, except from his chest. Right in the middle of his chest, there was a heart shaped hole.

"You gave me a boob window?!"

Wanda was too busy crying from laughter to answer her fellow Avenger.

The click of a camera shutter, made Tony turn his head towards the two assassins. "Delete this now!"

"Heck no!" Clint said. "This baby is going straight to Fury."

"Nooo! Come o-, hey stop staring at my nipples." he snapped when he saw Thor staring. "I can't blame you though." He dropped his head to stare at his own boobs.

Snapping out of this, he pointed a finger at Wanda. "This is not over."

Steve tried to intervene. "Come on guys, can't we just-"

"Bring it Stark."

"-get along."

Stark turned around to leave, only to hear more laughter erupting from the team.

Apparently, Wanda had also given him a butt window.

* * *

Obviously the prank wars will continue in next chapters ^_^ Hope you enjoyed it!


	6. Tony vs Everyone (part 1)

Yay another chapter! i'm having so much fun with this ^_^ Thank you soooo much for all your reviews and alerts!

The pranks continue!

I own nothing.

Enjoy!

* * *

Prank Wars

Tony vs Everyone

part 1

Tony Stark was plotting, not just against Wanda but against everyone that dared laughed at him.

"Except you Vi." He said to the man that was next to him. Well, technically an android. "You are safe."

"That's extremely kind of you, Tony." Vision replied with a polite tone.

"Do I detect a little sarcasm?" Tony asked thoughtful.

The android shook his dark red head.

"Of course not."

Tony narrowed his eyes.

"Do you want to get pranked?" Tony asked and pointed a finger at Vision, who was standing right in front of him.

Sighing he shook his head. "No."

"Then no sass from you, youngling."

"Very well." Vision frowned a little and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Might I suggest not pranking Miss Romanoff? I would hate to see you headless."

"Nah, she won't hurt me Vi." Tony answered, a little doubtful himself. "At least I hope so."

Vision tilted his head on the side. "Excuse me, but I don't fully understand the concept of 'pranking'. If it makes people angry and uncomfortable, why do you do it?"

Tony smiled fondly.

"Ah my child, you really were born yesterday." He said, making Vision frown even more.

"I was born two and half months ago."

Tony rolled his eyes. He didn't have the patience to answer Vision's questions right now.

"Go find Bucky and play. I have my evil plan to plot." He said and shooed Vision away.

Sighing to himself, Vision walked away.

"Humans."

* * *

*a day later*

"TOOONY!"

The collective cry of all the Avengers, echoed in the tower.

"Ehehehe." The man in question giggled.

Yes.

Tony Stark giggled.

He heard the first footsteps coming his way.

"YOU- _YOU_!"

Clint Barton stood there, trying to find the right word. "YOU SHOE GUM!"

Tony frowned.

"Shoe-gum?"

"NATASHA MAKES ME USE GENDER NEUTRAL INSULTS, FRAK OFF TONY WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CLOTHES?!"

Clint shouted, his vein in his neck almost ready to pop. Of course Tony could not take the bowman seriously, as he was wearing a cheerleader uniform.

"CHEERLEADER, TONY!?"

By now Tony was trying really hard not to laugh out loud.

He failed.

"BLUE IS NOT MY COLOR TONY!" Clint flailed his arms on the side.

"Trust me…" a voice behind him said and they both turned around.

"…I would trade you in a heartbeat." Steve Rogers admitted while trying to adjust his round shield in front of him. Apparently, all of his clothes and every piece of sheet and curtain had disappeared from the tower, thus leaving the Captain butt naked.

All but his shield.

Blushing hard, Steve grabbed the shield with both hands, so he could have a better hold.

"Tony, I'm gonna ask you once. Where! Are! My! Clothes?!"

"I don't know what you are talking about, Steve." He said with one breath, trying not to look guilty.

Steve caught Clint trying to look behind the shield.

"HEY!" he pointed a finger and Clint shrugged. "You really are a dorito." He said and scratched his thigh under the small skirt.

"STAAARK!"

"Great..." Steve mumbled under his breath, when he heard both twins shouting the billionaire's name.

Steve blushed at the thought of more people seeing him almost naked.

He looked down on the shield and frowned.

 _Star marks the spot_.

* * *

The rest of the Avengers coming up in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it ^_^ drop me a comment to let me know if you liked it? ^_^


	7. Tony vs Everyone (part 2)

I know you've been waiting for this, so i'll shut up today! (i'm still gonna say thanks for all the reviews and alerts tho... so THANK YOU!)

I own nothing.

Enjoy!

* * *

Prank Wars

Tony vs Everyone

part 2

"Prepare to meet your maker." Pietro shouted as he and Wanda stepped inside the room.

At the same time.

They were glued to each other.

Tony giggled.

"Why?! What's your problem?" he asked with a smirk on his face and Wanda bit the inside of her mouth in irritation.

"Really? I had to go the bathroom with _him_!" she pointed at her brother.

"HEY! I had to go the bathroom with you!"

"Yeah but boys are yucky."

"And girls are weird! You pee sitting down?!" Pietro said and her sister rolled her eyes.

It was just then that they noticed Clint and Steve in the room.

Tilting both of their heads on the side, they glanced at Steve's shield.

"Wha- CUT IT OUT! What's wrong with you!?"

Tony couldn't hold it anymore. He just collapsed on the ground laughing, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Then they heard it.

"TONY!"

It was Natasha.

Everyone in the room froze.

"Please tell me you weren't that stupid." Clint said, just as Natasha was walking in the room.

"Ah…oops?"

"Where are my shoes, Tony?" she requested with a calm voice.

Too calm.

"Nice crocs Romanoff." Clint snickered and she snapped her head towards him. She gave the pink crocs she wore a disgusted look.

"Go shove a pom-pom up your ass, Barton."

"Nataaasha, language!" Steve whined and slowly the assassins head turned to look at him. The captain stilled.

"Do you wish to keep the shield in its current place, Captain Rogers?" she threatened and Steve's eyes widened.

"Uh yeah?"

"Then shut up."

"Yes ma'am."

Pietro shook his head and stared at Tony.

"You don't touch a woman's shoes man." He said. "Trust me I kn-OW! What the heck Wanda?"

She had shoved him hard against the wall, but since they were glued the force made her stumble as well.

"Ha-ha!"

"Shut up."

Natasha advanced towards Tony and took out her gun.

Her pink handgun.

Her _really pink_ handgun, with Ariel's face on the barrel.

"What?" Tony questioned. "You wanted Rapunzel? Sorry, Fury had her taken."

Natasha wasn't amused. "I don't like Disney princess's on my weaponry, Stark."

"How about your PJ's?"

She didn't even blink.

"Guess."

"Ah...i wouldn't open your PJ's drawer then." he said and for a brief moment, her eyes narrowed at him.

The Iron avenger run behind Barton for cover.

"Help me." He whispered in his ear and the bowman, raised his eyebrows.

"You took all my clothes and now I'm dressed like a cheerleader." He said as an answer. "Well, a badass cheerleader." He added.

"Is that a yes?"

"NO, TONY!"

"Oh. Well, it was nice knowing ya." He said, now ready to meet the wrath of his teammate, when…

Thor walked in, eating a donut like nothing happened.

"Greetings, friends."

Everyone simply stared at him.

"Braids?" Clint questioned and looked at Tony who shrugged.

"I don't know man, I run out of ideas okay? Don't judge me."

Every single hair on the gods head was braided. And he seemed cool with it, if not excited.

"Stark, I'd like to offer my thanks for the hairstyle. I noticed that it was you during the night that started braiding my hair but I didn't want to disturb you." He grinned. "Your technique is mediocre but tis the thought that counts."

"Um." Tony managed to say and put his hands on each side of his waist. "I don't know what to say to that."

Sudden footsteps made everyone looked towards the door.

"Hey guys I -"

It was Bucky. When he saw them, he stopped in his tracks.

"Yeah, nevermind." He turned around and left.

Everyone looked at Tony, noticing that the former brainwashed assassin was indeed prank-free.

"What? He threatened to castrate me, if I pranked him again."

For a few awkward minutes, no one spoke. They just kept looking at each other.

"Ah guys?" the Captain was the first to speak. "Where is Bruce?"

Tony's eyes widened. "Crap." He said and run towards the scientist's room.

Everyone followed Tony, except Steve and Thor.

The god stared at the blushing Captain and chuckled. Then he proceeded to take his red cape off, only to hand it over to Steve.

The man sighed in content and took the cape. He wore it like a toga.

"Thanks man. You are a lifesaver."

Thor, who looked ridiculously cute with his braids, grinned and took a bow.

* * *

Meanwhile, the team had reached Bruce Banner's room.

Tony knocked quietly. "Eh…Brucie?" he knocked again.

"What did you do, Stark?" Wanda asked, while trying to ignore her glued sibling, who was complaining that his sister was icky and sweaty.

"Nothing big." He answered and slowly opened the door to Bruce's room.

One by one, they entered his room.

"Jesus." Pietro mumbled, when he saw Bruce.

The scientist was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, many candles around him, obviously meditating.

And a huge yellow snake wrapped around his neck.

"You put a snake in his room?!" Clint wanted to shout at Tony. "You-you _expired milk!_ "

Natasha seemed proud at Clint and his choice of insult, while Tony blank-stared at him.

"It seemed like a good idea." He defended himself.

"Yeah, put a snake in the only dude's room who turns into a huge, green rage monster."

"Shut it, Speedy Gonzalez."

Too busy arguing with each other, no one saw Bruce smirking and slowly opening his eyes.

"Better luck next time, Tony." He said and petted the snake on the head, while sneaking a look at the stunned Avengers.

"Her name is Betty."

* * *

Bruce is badass, no? (i would have freaked out btw...) stay tuned for the last prank war chapter (for now, no worries) were Natasha gets her sweeet revenge. (no one messes with her shoes and guns.) Looking forward to your comments ^_^


	8. Widow's Revenge

hello there! The chapter you've all been waiting for is here. i just hope you enjoy it ^_^ i can't express how thankful i am for all the love your giving this fic *sends huge hug*

I own nothing.

Enjoy!

* * *

Prank Wars

Widow's Revenge

Natasha Romanoff was having a good day.

She smirked knowing that finally today, her plan would come to fruition.

It took her a little more than a month, but it was totally worth it.

It was her idea, her revenge, but it was really a team effort. Everyone helped and pulled some strings.

Especially Fury.

When he asked her why she didn't just beat the living crap of the billionaire, she smirked and answered that Tony Stark could handle a punch in the gut. But what he couldn't handle was a punch in his ego.

She checked her watch for the time and could hardly contain her smile.

It was time.

* * *

Tony Stark was suspicious of everyone and everything.

It had been one month since the pranks he pulled on the Avengers and nobody had retaliated.

Maybe that was their plan, he thought. Leave him stew in his own juices, become paranoid.

But on the other hand, maybe they were planning something big.

"Maybe I _am_ getting paranoid." He mumbled to himself.

His phone started ringing.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Stark, there is a man here who wants to talk to you. He says he is a lawyer."

"What's his name?" he asked the receptionist, while knitting his eyebrows together.

"Thomas Wells, sir."

The name didn't ring a bell. "What is his business with me?"

"He says it's confidential, sir. For your ears only."

He thought it over for a minute and truth be told, he was intrigued.

"Send him up."

"Very well, sir."

* * *

Five minutes later, the lawyer was stepping into Tony's floor.

"Mr. Stark." The man greeted and shook Tony's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Tom."

"Uh, it's actually Thomas." He corrected and sat down on the chair Tony showed him.

"So, Tom…what do you have to tell me that it's only for my ears?"

Sighing at the use of his name, Thomas put his briefcase on his legs and opened it.

"I'm here on behalf of the Walt Disney Company and I'd-"

"WHOA!" Tony interrupted him. "Disney? You expect me to believe that?"

"I have no reason to lie to you?" the lawyer said and tilted his head on the side. "I can show you my identification…"

"No, need." Tony said and snapped a photograph of the man with his phone.

Using the facial recognition system, he had under 4 minutes all the information he wanted on the man.

"Huh…you check out. Nice sister by the way. Really cute. So what does Disney want with me?"

Blinking slowly, Thomas took a minute to start speaking again.

"Uh…my client wants you…"

"OH MY GOD!" Tony shouted. "I know! Disney wants to make me a movie?!"

"Well, yes but…"

"I KNEW IT! I'M GONNA BE A DISNEY PRINCESS!"

"Ah…"

"This is going to be AWESOME! SNOWWHITE YOU CAN S-"

"Mr. Stark!" Thomas interrupted his speech and Tony stopped cheering.

"What?"

"Um, you are not going to be the new Disney princess."

"Oh. OH! Yeah, of course." He said and Thomas smiled. "I'm going to be the prince, right?"

His smile fell.

"This is going to be EPIC! Will I have a horse? Of course I'm gonna have a ho-OH AN IRON HORSE!"

"Mr. Stark?"

"WITH REPULSORS UNDER EACH HOOVE!"

"Mr. Stark!"

"What?!"

"You are not going to be the prince either."

Tony frowned.

"Why the hell not?"

"Well." Thomas started. "For one, there is no prince in this new Disney film."

Sighing, Tony ran a hand through his hair.

"You've lost me Tommy."

"Thomas."

"Then who am I supposed to be? Oh wait, I get it. It's an origin film about me, right?"

"Weeeell, no."

Tony raised an eyebrow and stared daggers at the lawyer. "Is there even going to be a princess in the film?"

"Not quite." Thomas answered and saw the blank stare of the billionaire in front of him. "It will not be a traditional princess…more like a superhero princess?"

"Superhero princess?" Tony repeated.

"Yes."

"And exactly what part do you want me to play?" Tony inquired. He was getting tired of guessing.

"Well, Iron Boy will be the Superhero Princess's sidekick…"

"IRON BOY? WAIT, SIDEKICK?!"

"Mr. Stark."

"ME? A SIDEKICK?"

"Iron Boy is important to the film, sir. It gives Natalia the-"

"WHO?!"

"Natalia, our Superhero Princess."

"WIDOW GETS HER OWN DISNEY MOVIE?"

"Well yes. The people really like Black Widow, especially little girls."

For once in his life, Tony Stark was speechless. He didn't know what to say next.

Thomas saw this as his opening to continue. He opened his briefcase and handed Tony the early concept art of the film. There in big black letters was the film's name.

 **Disney's Black Widow**

Underneath the words was a sketch of Black Widow in her black uniform and behind her was…

"That's…me?" he asked trying to remain calm. His Disney counterpart wore his signature Iron man suit but it was simplified and the coloring was all wrong.

"My suit is not red and bright yellow! It red and gold! And the helmet, oh my god! Who designed this filth?!"

"It's a work in progress."

Tony shook his head in denial. "I will NOT be a sidekick in her movie."

"Iron Boy is a key character, sir. Especially after his death-"

"I DIE!?"

"Well yes. It's a Disney movie after all. We need an emotional death."

"I DIE?!" he repeated not believing his ears. "OKAY THAT'S IT!" He shouted and took out his phone.

"PEPPER?!"

" _Don't shout, Tony."_

"Sorry."

" _What's the matter, sweetie?"_

"I need to buy Disney."

"… _what?"_

"Disney. I need it."

" _Tony…Is this like the time you wanted to buy LucasFilm?"_

"JAR JAR BINKS WAS AN ABOMINATION AND DESERVED A FIERY DEATH."

" _You are not buying Di-"_

"But I **have** to buy Disney, Pep."

" _No, Tony."_

"But, Peeep."

" _You are not buying Disney, Tony. Goodbye."_ She hang up on him.

He raised his head to look at Thomas, who had stood up by now.

"I refuse to sign any papers. I am _not_ going to be a damn sidekick."

"But Tony…" a female voice said behind him. "You have already signed."

Natasha strolled towards the two men in slow and confident footsteps.

"Thomas." she greeted the man, who blushed and smiled.

"Miss Romanoff."

"AHA! I KNEW IT! THIS WAS ALL A PRANK!"

"Mr. Stark, I can assure you. This is not a prank." Thomas said and Natasha nodded. "I still don't understand why all the hate, sir. This film is going to be a masterpiece. And the songs are simply beautiful." He handed Tony a piece of paper.

" _Under the Iron Suit, Let it bleed, Everybody wants to be a spider, I'll crack a_ _rib inside of you_ – seriously!?" he read the songs of the list. "Please, someone tell me this is a joke."

"Why? I thought you liked Disney, Tony." She said remembering her Disney themed handgun. His head dropped in shame.

After some seconds passed, he raised his head and looked over at Natasha, only to find out that she was smirking. "Let that be a lesson to you."

Tony's eyes widened. "Oh yes, yes, thank you! I've learnt my lesson." He said, feeling content that all this was simply a prank.

"The Disney film is still happening though."

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Yes, Natasha thought as she watched Tony screaming like he was Darth Vader from Star Wars. It was worth it, all the paperwork, and all the preparation.

Now she had a Disney film on the works and Tony Stark feeling miserable.

She smirked again.

If only he knew that Pepper helped as well.

She was the one to forge Tony's signature after all.

* * *

Tada! Hope you liked it. (Hope marvel gives us the Black Widow movie we need, you know what? scratch Marvel. As someone said, give me a Netflix Black Widow series anytime!)

Looking forward to your comments ^_^


	9. Magnets

Whooo i'm so happy that you are enjoying the headcanons ^_^ These last days have been rather...unpleasant (Greek girl speaking, if the news hasn't reached you yet, the country has been in a really shitty situation) but reading your reviews and writing this story make things better ^_^

Today's headcanon, is inspired by the artwork of **elfpen** on tumblr. ( elfpen .tumblr post / 121652984788/ magnetic-bros-metallic-body-parts-bros )

I own nothing!

Enjoy!

* * *

Magnets

Bucky Barnes was a lot of things.

But a fringe wasn't one of them.

"GOD DAMN IT GUYS!" he shouted when he realized that his whole metal arm was covered in magnets and little notes.

"I can't even go to sleep with you maniacs." He mumbled to himself as he removed a Barbie shaped magnet, which held a note.

 _If lost, return to Steve._

"Hilarious. Ha, ha." He commented when he saw the writing. And he knew, who the one to write it was.

"ROGERS!"

After a few minutes, he saw the familiar shape of the captain approach.

"Hey Bu- why the long face?"

Bucky showed him the note and with his head, he nodded towards his arm.

"Oh." Steve chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his hair. "That."

"Yes, that." He blew a wild strand of hair that came out of his bun.

"Ah…it wasn't me." He tried to cover but one thing everyone knew, was that Captain America was a lousy liar.

Bucky raised his eyebrows and took another note that was held with a heart-shaped magnet.

 _Remember, murder is bad._

"Ah, that's actually really thoughtful?" Steve answered and took the paper from his hand and crumble it.

"I'M NOT A FRIDGE, STEVE!" he shouted while stomping his left foot on the ground.

He removed another note that said _StarkIndustries_ across his arm, which was held by a smiley sun magnet.

"Who has these magnets anyway!?"

"Clint."

"Of course." He mumbled and removed a purple flower magnet from his arm, that held a note written in Russian. It would take him a lot of time to get rid of all of them. He groaned.

"Come on, Buck…it's just for fun."

Bucky wasn't amused.

"It's a weapon of mass destruction Steve!"

"Now you are being dramatic, Bucky."

"Dramatic would be to say that your man-boobs have taken over the world and demand world domination."

Steve's eyes widened.

"MY WHAT?!"

"Your man-boobs." He replied calmly.

"I DON'T HAVE BOOBS."

"Yeah…you kinda do."

"SHUT UP! I DON'T HAVE BOOBS!"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Whatever, punk. I'm out." Bucky said chuckling to himself and left.

Frowning to himself, Steve checked to see if he was alone in the room and moved his hands towards his chest.

He gasped.

"I do have man-boobs!"

* * *

Feeling bored, Bucky sat on the couch of the living room and started removing magnets.

"One day I'm gonna murder everyone in this tower." He mumbled.

 _Ting_

He head snapped upwards. "What?" he ignored the sound.

 _Ting_

 _Ting_

"Okay! What the hell?"

 _Ting, ting, ting, ting_

Wait a minute, Bucky thought. He knew that sound it was. "MAAAAAGNETS!" He shouted when he saw that the magnets on his arm were multiplying.

 _Ehehe_.

He knew that giggle everywhere. "BARTON IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL SHOVE YOUR ARROW SO UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU WILL TURN INTO A FREAKIN UNICORN!"

The giggle stopped and the sound of someone crawling fast up in the vents was heard.

Sighing, Bucky just stared in disgust and confusion at his magnet-infested arm.

"At least you only have to worry about your arm."

Bucky looked up to see the owner of the voice.

It was none other than Vision.

"They got you too, huh?"

"Unfortunately." The android sighed and sat down next to Bucky.

Vision was covered from head to toe with magnets, stickers and little notes.

Bucky eyed the little alphabet magnets on Vision's chest. Specifically over his right breast.

 _Tony Rulz_

On his right it was,

 _No, Clint Rulz_

And underneath that,

 _Clint smellz_

And beneath that, was a post-it that said, _I'm out of letters. You win this round, Stark._

Shaking his head, Bucky reached out and ripped the paper that was on top of Vision's forehead. It was a drawing of anime eyes.

"Thank you."

"How they got you?"

"Well." Vision started. "I was in sleep mode. After I was activated again, these appeared." He gestured to his body.

"Need some help?" the assassin asked and Vision, shook his head.

"Thank you, James."

"It's Bucky."

"Your help is always appreciated, James." He said and Bucky sighed.

He started removing some of the magnets and a particular note caught his attention.

Across his collar bone and obviously in a feminine writing was a note that said,

 _If found, return to Wanda._

Bucky said nothing. He simply wiggled his eyebrows up and down, while holding the note, with a smug smile on his face.

Vision's eyes widened a little and dropped his head down in embarrassment. He snatched the paper from his hands and remained silent, looking at the wall in front of him.

Bucky's smirk widened, when he spotted another note that was located on Vision's left side.

 _Wanda NO flirting with the robot!_

The sentence was crossed out with a big x and underneath, in the same delicate writing was,

 _ **I do what I want!**_

"What?" Vision questioned, when Bucky kept staring at him. "Humans are interesting."

* * *

Wanda and Vision my OTP! i love them ^_^ I'm sooo looking forward to your comments! Oh i almost forgot. I have a question for you. Which movie would you like to see the Avengers watch in the future? Moulin Rouge or Jurassic Park?


	10. Hammer time (aka The hawk had it coming)

Wow! just wow! i still can't believe all the responses for the previous chapter. You guys are amazing! This is not the movie chapter...patience my friends ^_^

 **ErinKenobi2893** : Thank you for the wonderful headcanons! I'll write them down as soon as possible

 **Laughing. Thalia** : You can't send url's through this site :/ they get cut off. Would you like to describe to me what you want to send me? or you can send it to me via twitter, tumblr, facebook. Just PM for the details :)

I own nothing!

Enjoy!

* * *

Hammer Time

(aka The hawk had it coming.)

Clint wanted to pee.

He _really_ wanted to pee and he was surprised at how intense the feeling was.

 _Why did I have to steal Bucky's beer?_ He thought as he ran towards the bathroom on his floor.

He shakily opened the door and thanked god that nobody saw him walking like this. Natasha would never let him live this down.

He hastily started to unzip his pants when he suddenly saw the toilet.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yelled at the top of his lungs when he saw Thor's Hammer on top of the toilet lid.

"No, no, no, no, no." he started mumbling as he was jumping on the spot to hold in his pee.

"THOR YOU LITTLE SHIT!" he stared pulling on the hammer but of course it wouldn't budge. "I WANT TO PEEEEEEEEE."

With a huff, he released the hammer.

"Oh." He whispered and crossed his legs.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to try to run towards the bathroom that was on the main floor.

"I can do this. We can do this." He said and looked at his lap.

He ran.

* * *

"I am the master of my own bladder."

"I am the master of…my own bladder."

He slowed down and started walking towards the bathroom.

"I am the master of my own bladder."

He suddenly stopped.

"I am _not_ the master of my own bladder."

He looked around for anything that could serve as toilet, as he couldn't reach the bathroom in time. He would die a thousand deaths before he would get caught with peed pants.

That was when he saw it.

The tall plant at the side of the wall. Tony's roses.

"Sorry, Tony." He unzipped his pants.

* * *

With his bladder empty, Clint wandered around the main floor of the tower.

 _Idiot, you could have used the bathtub or even the sink._

 _I panicked!_

Clint shook his head at his stupidity. But that's all in the past now.

He did find weird though, the fact that he wanted to pee so bad after one can of beer.

He reached the kitchen only to be greeted by Bucky and Thor, who were eating at the table.

"Hey guys."

Bucky grinned. "Hi, Clint."

The bowman, frowned. "Greetings friend Clint." The god said, the same grin on his face.

Ignoring them, Clint went to the fridge to fix something to eat.

"Everything okay?" Bucky asked, the grin never leaving his face.

"…yes."

"So everything is _pee_ chy?" Bucky giggled.

"Are you high, dude?"

He never received an answer, he just stared blankly at the assassin and the god who were doubled over laughing.

Clint narrowed his eyes. "Wait a minute…"

A sudden scream made everyone snap their heads towards the sound.

"NOOOO! WHY!" the person screamed.

It was Tony.

Clint's eyes widened and dropped everything he was doing and ran away.

Bucky and Thor high fived each other, still laughing.

And Tony was sobbing.

"MY ROSES!"

* * *

ehehehehe sorry Clint ^_^ Hope you enjoyed it! Oh, btw, concerning the votes, Jurassic Park won! (You just all want to see Tony trying to make dino's, admit it.) I guess you won't see Steve and Bucky bawling over Satine's death. Maybe next time.


	11. America's Next Top Model (sorta)

Hey everyone! Yes, we are still alive here in Greece, crisis averted (sorta). So i'm here with another headcanon i saw on tumblr and i just HAD to write it.

In the comics, both Bucky and Sam become the next Captain America. So...when you cross this with ANTM you have this chapter.

credit: **substeverogers** for the artwork and **wemaximofs** for the tumblr post. i own nothing!

Enjoy!

* * *

America's Next Top Model

...sorta

"Hey Bucky?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"Have you noticed anything…weird in the past few days?" Sam Wilson asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at the letter he was holding.

"Yeah. The surprise marathons…"

"The Shield toss competition…"

"The parkour…" Bucky grunted and crunched up his nose at his own letter.

There in big blue and red letters, right on the front of the envelope was,

 **STEVE MAIL!**

"Man, what the hell is going on?" Sam ripped the envelope and took out the letter. Bucky did the same.

 _Tomorrow you will meet with the judges. Only one of you will continue on in the hopes of becoming America's Next Top Captain._

 _Love, Steve_

Both men blinked.

"America's next top _**Captain**_?" Sam read again out loud.

" _ **Judges**_?" Bucky questioned and raised an eyebrow.

They looked at each other, the same thing going through their minds.

 _Let's get the hell out of here_.

But by the moment they reached the door, a voice stopped them.

"Welcome!"

They slowly turned around, only to see Steve, in his uniform.

"Please, come closer."

Looking at each other, Sam and Bucky slowly made their way towards the Captain.

"Thank you for coming." He said with a small smile. "The day has finally come. The day, where one of you becomes."

Dramatic pause.

"America's Next Top Captain. Both of you have been tested, without you knowing anything."

"Yeah, we suspected nothing." Bucky said and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, bang up job." Sam gave him a thumbs up.

Steve did not get their sarcasm.

"But before I announce who will be, America's Next Top Captain…"

"If he says that one more time, I'm clocking him." Bucky whispered to Sam, who nodded his head.

"And I'll hold him."

They bumped their fists together in agreement.

"….the judges."

They looked at each other, eyebrows raised.

"Oh this should be good." Sam mumbled.

"First, the wonderful Natasha Romanoff." Steve said and as on cue, the assassin walked in, all dressed up and stood next to Steve.

"Truly an honor." She said and smirked at the faces of Bucky and Sam.

"The talented Clint Barton!"

Clint came in and went to stand on the other side of Steve. "Thank you, Clint."

"Glad I could make it Steve. It's was a tough choice."

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest, while Sam sighed loudly.

"The always pain in my butt, Tony Stark!" Steve announced and Tony Stark appeared.

"What no cheering?"

They all rolled their eyes and gave him a brief clapping.

"Thank you, thank you."

"And last but not least, our special guest, Bruce Banner!"

Shyly, Bruce came out and went to stand next to Tony.

"Sorry, they made me. And I was bored." He said to the two men, who shrugged.

"Is this going to take long?" Bucky asked and Sam nodded. "Yeah we have a movie to catch. Vision is already waiting for us."

Steve ignored their question. He walked closer to them, with a smile on his face.

They took a step back.

Steve sighed. "Two beautiful men stand before me…"

Bucky and Sam looked at each other. "What the hell man?" Sam mouthed to him.

Bucky shrugged. "The fuck should I know?"

Steve continued talking.

"But I'm only holding one photo in my hands." Tony handed him the photo. "The photo represents the man who is still on the running towards becoming America's- Eh." He stopped when he saw the glare from both of his friends.

" _Say it. Come on, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker_." Sam thought.

"Ah…winner! Yes, America's winner." Steve corrected.

"I will only call one name."

" _Dun, dun, duuuun, dun_ -"

"CLINT!"

"What? Drama!"

Steve rolled his eyes and focused his attention back to Sam and Bucky.

"I will only call one name. The man I do not call…"

"I have a bad feeling about this." Bucky mumbled.

"…must IMMEDIATELY come and hug me because I still love you more than anything." Steve smiled widely and opened his arms to make his point.

"Oh hell no." Sam complained. "Screw the hug, we want money."

Bucky nodded. "What he said."

Steve narrowed his eyes. "You are so materialistic **.** And mean."

"Just announce the winner Rogers." Natasha said and Steve nodded.

"Oh yes. The man in the photo I'm holding, the winner is…"

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

"Yes?" Both Bucky and Sam exclaimed.

Pause.

Pause.

"The next Captain America will be…"

" _Dun, dun, du, duuun, tsss, tsss, duuun_."

"CLINT!"

"Sorry."

Steve flipped the photo. The winner was,

"STARK!?"

"Congratul- wait what?! TONY!" Steve shouted, when he saw the photo himself. "What the heck man?!"

Tony acted surprised.

"Oh me? I'm so happy! And honored! Really Steve, I don't know what to say. Actually I do." He produced several folded papers form his pocket.

"I'd like to thank the academy, my awesome self, my mom, my dad, well not actually my dad, he was an ass…" The loud bang of the door, stopped him in mid-sentence.

Bucky and Sam, were nowhere to be found.

Tony frowned that they left like this AND that they interrupted his speech.

"Well, that's just rude."

Now he had to start over.

* * *

tada? hope you enjoyed it ^_^ Drop me a comment to tell me how you liked it? that would be awesome. Till next time guys!


	12. Jurassic Park

Hey everyone. I'm sorry for not updating but i have started studying for a postgraduate course and i have to study like 6 books and i'm running out of time cause the exams are in like a month. But nevermind this.

I know you have been waiting for this chapter, so i hope i don't disappoint. I have made it extra long! The headcanon is that Tony hasn't watched Jurassic Park until now.

(Also...is anyone else freaking out about CA: Civil War? i know i am!)

I own nothing!

Enjoy!

* * *

Jurassic Park

"COME ON! MOVE YOUR ASSES PEOPLE."

Clint Barton shouted, not wanting to wait another second.

Natasha walked inside the movie area that Stark had specifically made for them.

"Chill." She said as she sat down and rolled her eyes, when Clint stomped his foot on the ground.

"We were supposed to start the movie 20 minutes ago." He said stubbornly.

"What's the rush, Katniss?"

"This masterpiece can't wait, Stark." Clint answered to Tony, who had entered the room along with Bruce.

At that moment, Steve and Bucky finally arrived, bearing the gift of pop-corn.

"About time, Starbucks!" Clint exclaimed and took two of the bowls they were carrying.

Bucky frowned at the nickname and tilted his head on the side. "I don't-"

"Don't bother." Steve replied and handed the bowl he had in his hands to Sam. He also saw that the seat on the left of Sam was empty.

Apparently Sam noticed as well.

"Don't you dare man!" he threatened.

Steve grinned. "What? I just want to sit and quietly watch the movie." He paused. "ON YOUR LEFT!"

"Okay that's it." Sam said and stood up to leave.

Steve's eyes widened. "No, no I'm sorry man. I was just kidding."

"Captain or not, if you ever say to me 'on your left' again, I'll kick you in the nuts." Steve nodded.

"Isn't that technically a felony?" Tony asked.

"What? Kicking Steve in the jewels?" Natasha asked and thought about it.

"OKAY!" Steve loudly said. "Whose turn is it to pick the movie?"

Clint raised his hand and everybody groaned.

"Oh shut up. I have great taste."

Tony snorted. "Yeah, like last time."

"HEY! Don't you bad mouth Moulin Rouge. It's a brilliant movie." Clint defended.

"Yea. I especially liked the part where Capsicle and Robocop couldn't stop crying."

"SHE DIED IN HIS ARMS!" Steve shouted.

"Meh." Tony commended.

"You are dead inside." Bucky mumbled and crossed his arms over his chest.

Clint just shook his head. "It's Jurassic Park. I doubt they can cry this time."

The duo just glared at him, while Stark shrugged. "Never seen it."

"WHAT?!" Clint, Natasha, Bruce and Sam exclaimed.

Tony seemed taken aback by their reaction. "O-kay."

"I can't believe you've never seen Jurassic Park. ROLL THE MOVIE." Clint shouted and immediately the lights dimmed and the movie started.

As the opening credits started rolling, Steve nudged Sam and whispered,

"I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

About 15 minutes into the movie, Tony wasn't really feeling it.

"I don't get what's the fuss is ab-"

He saw Allan Grant looking outside the jeep and watched as he was looking something with wide eyes. Then Grant's (And Tony's) jaw dropped, his head falling all the way back, and looking even higher, above the tree line.

"It's a-" he mumbled and watched Grant turning the blonde's, Ellie's, head around to look at the creature.

" _ **THAT'S A DINOSAUR!"**_

"….a dinosaur."

And at that point, angels fell down from the sky to rest on Tony Stark's shoulders and sing with their heavenly voice, while playing the harp.

Well…not really, but that's how Tony felt at the moment when he saw the Brachiosaur.

"It's beautiful." He whispered as he got up from his seat and went closer to the big plasma screen.

"Ah…" Clint muttered and point a finger at Stark. "Tony, could you maybe n-"

"SHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tony said at him not bothering to turn around. He just sat down on the floor, in front of the screen and occasionally caressing it with his hands everytime he saw a dinosaur.

"The f-" Clint started. "Did he just hiss at me?"

* * *

"THAT WAS FREAKIN AWESOME!" Tony exclaimed when the end credits started rolling and unglued himself from the screen, which at one point he was literally hugging it.

And that was the T-Rex scene.

Actually, every T-Rex scene in the movie.

"Are you okay Tony?' Bruce asked and flinched when Tony's head snapped towards him.

"Never better!" he answered as he was already picturing a dinosaur with an iron man suit and him on the back.

"Wait a second." Steve said and went towards the billionaire. "I know that glint in your eyes."

Tony adopted his most innocent expression. "What glint?" he said but a second later he couldn't maintain the expression so he grinned.

Steve's eyes widened.

"TONY NO!"

Tony rubbed his hands together and smirked. "TONY YES!" he yelled and dashed towards his lab, before anyone could stop him.

Steve face palmed and Clint clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, I've always wondered what it'd be like to have a T-Rex for a pet."

* * *

Two days later

Bucky walked into the kitchen to grab his cup of coffee. But he nearly pour the liquid all over the floor, when he saw all his team mates looking with interest outside.

The garden.

"Uh…what it going on?" he asked hesitantly.

Natasha pointed a finger outside, without looking at him. "See for yourself."

Raising an eyebrow, the assassin looked outside, only to see…

"What the fuck?"

"Language." Steve muttered, his eyes glued on the spectacle outside.

There was, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, superhero and genius, Tony Stark, balancing on top of a flowery garden chair, curtesy of Pepper Potts, trying to catch something.

"Please don't tell me he's trying to catch mosquitoes?" Bucky asked, remembering from the movie they saw, that that was the way to create the dinosaurs.

"Okay, we won't tell you." Bruce answered and shook his head at his friend's antics.

"Idiot." He muttered and walked away shaking his head.

"Do you think he can do it?" Clint asked and everyone turned to look at him. "What? Don't lie you were all thinking about it."

Before anyone could answer, Tony stepped inside the room, proud smile on his face.

"Finally caught one of these little bastards." He shook the jar excitedly.

"Hey Brucie?"

"Yeah?" he said with caution.

"Can I borrow, Betty?"

"Absolutely not!" he said, horror evident on his face. His pet snake was not going to be used for any experiment.

"Awww come on! I won't hurt her."

"I said no, Tony."

"Pretty please?"

Bruce's eyes flashed green. "Don't touch Betty!"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Now, who's the drama queen? Fine, I won't touch the stupid snake." He muttered the last part and with his head down he walked away.

* * *

The next morning

"EUREKA!"

Upon hearing the word, both Sam and Steve closed their eyes.

"God have mercy." Steve muttered and took a bite out of his pancakes.

"EUREEEEKA!" Tony's voice echoed in all the rooms. "I'M A GENIUS!"

Natasha sighed hard and put her hand in the center of the table. The others caught on.

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

"Damn it." Sam cursed and stood up.

"Better luck next time." Bucky said and smirked on the look on his face.

"Shut up." He mumbled.

They had made a habit of it, to play the game and the loser would go and ask Stark what was going on, which resulted to an at least ten minute rant from the iron avenger.

"EUREKA!" Tony shouted from the top off the coffee table.

"So…ah…WHOA!" Sam exclaimed when he saw the robe Tony was wearing, open at the front. "Man, I don't get paid enough for this shit. Wait…I don't get paid." He said mostly to himself and turned his attention back to Stark, who was dancing on the table. With no underpants.

"Could ya, uh…ya know. Cover up?"

Tony stopped dancing and hoped off the table. "You spend way too much time with Grandpa Rogers." He said and tied his robe.

"Are you drunk?" Sam asked.

"Drunk on happiness, YEAH! I HATCHED AN EGG SAMMY, AN EGG!"

"It's Sam."

"You don't get it Sammy!" Tony grabbed Sam by the elbow and walked him towards the lab.

"Let me start from the beginning. The procedure…"

Tony started talking and he practically dragged a groaning Falcon around.

"Curse you scissors!"

* * *

21 days later.

"IT'S HAPPENING!" Tony was going around the tower all afternoon and saying the exact same thing to everyone he could see.

"It's happening! I'm gonna throw up…" he doubled over, placing his hands on his knees.

"Breathe, Tony." Bruce said, a little curious himself.

They were all gathered in his lab where anytime now, Tony's egg would hatch.

Steve leaned towards Clint and Natasha. "Should we call Fury?"

"Nah." Clint replied.

"But what if he made it?" Steve pressed.

"Wouldn't worry about it." He cryptically said, a smirk on his face.

"IT'S HATCHING!" Tony shouted and seconds later, they could see the egg breaking at a slow rate.

"Come on baby." Tony urged as he could see the small head popping out.

A fluffy yellow head.

"What?"

It was a baby chick.

"NO!"

"Aww it's so cute." Natasha exclaimed.

"No! It was supposed to be vicious not cute!" Tony was at loss.

"Ehehehehe…" the sound of the chuckle made Tony snap his head rapidly. "You…"

"I think I'm gonna name it Chi-Rex."

"BAAARTON!"

* * *

And there you have it folks! Hope you enjoyed it. Drop me a comment or two to let me know if you liked it ^_^ (please?)


	13. Nick Fury's bad day

I know literally everyone on this site has written this particular AU/Headcanon, but i had to give it a try ;) I just hope you will enjoy it. It will be in two parts.

Thank you everyone so so so much for your amazing reviews. Your words give me motivation to write ^_^

I own nothing as usual...

Enjoy!

* * *

Nick Fury's bad day

Part 1

Nick Fury was a simple man. Well as simple a guy that is involved daily in alien and superhero business can be.

And as that simple guy, Nick Fury wanted simple things.

But people don't always get what they want. Sometimes, they get the exact opposite.

He was in his office, reading the latest update from Coulson's team, when his phone chimed.

He had a text message from Tony Stark. Actually he had several messages from Stark but only one was readable. The rest were gibberish.

" _We made mitake..tupid figrs"_

Narrowing his good eye, Fury read the text message again. And again. And again.

"What the hell?" he mumbled as he stared at his phone.

Muttering angry words, he decided to call the billionaire to get to the bottom of this.

It wasn't until his fourth try that someone answered the phone.

Fury didn't even wait to hear the person on the other line.

"Stark what the hell was that? Are you drunk?"

Silence.

"Stark?"

" _You said a bad word."_

Bu it wasn't Stark that answered him. It was a child.

"Uh, wrong number." He hang up quickly and scratched his head in confusion. This had never happened before. _Something must be wrong with the lines_ , he thought.

Standing up, he took his phone out again and called Romanoff. She would know what's going on with Stark.

But she wasn't answering her phone.

Frowning, Fury knew that something weird was going on. Natasha always had her phone on her person.

He decided to call Barton, but the same thing happened.

Now he was really starting to get worried. Not that he would ever admit it.

Sighing hard, he grabbed his car keys and put on his black, long, leather trench coat.

Yes, Nick Fury was on the case.

* * *

Flashing his identity to the young man at the reception of the Tower, Fury walked with long strides towards the common floor.

Now, he expected to see a lot of things.

Like, Stark dancing naked except from his ironman helmet. Again.

Or, Barton drunk singing Taylor Swift.

Heck, he even expected to find Rogers dancing to the Macarena.

But he certainly wasn't expecting… _this_.

"NO!"

At his voice, the occupants of the room turned their tiny heads to look at him.

"NICKIE!" the children all yelled together.

Yes, the children.

That was what Fury had stumbled on. Seven children that looked suspiciously like the Avengers.

Seven children that looked suspiciously like the Avengers without their clothes, which were dumped on the floor.

In other words, the kids were running around butt naked.

"Oh, _**HELL**_ NO!"

The kids giggled and started pointing a finger at him.

"Bad word, you said a baaaaad word." A kid with dark hair and with bright, honey brown colored eyes.

 _That cheeky kid looks like Stark_ , Fury said to himself.

"Stevie does not like bad words." The red haired girl said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

 _Stevie? Is that Rogers?_ _And_ _Romanoff?_ Fury thought, while trying to remain calm.

'Stevie' frowned but said nothing. He just opted to tighten a random piece of cloth he found, around his little body.

"Leav'im alone 'Asha." The kid next to Stevie said. He had long, shaggy, dark hair and a metallic arm.

"Barnes?" he wondered out loud. _How many kids do you know with metal arms with the soviet star painted on?_

"CLIN!" little Natasha suddenly yelled. "Stop playing with your wee-wee!"

'Clin' looked up and narrowed his eyes at her.

"You are zelous you don't have one!" The boy replied, while glancing down at his lap. He raised his eyebrows. "Uh oh."

"EWWW CLIN!"

 _That's Barton, alright._

Suddenly, Fury felt someone tagging at the end of his trench coat.

He looked down only to see as shy, brown haired kid with glasses.

"Doctor Banner?"

At the sight of him, one question popped in his mind.

 _Can he still hulk out?_

"Help us?"

"Uh…" Fury didn't know what to say. He didn't even know what the hell was going on. "What happened?"

"We are four you buttbutt." Little Tony said. Fury just stared at him. _Buttbutt?_

"…and a half." Bruce added.

"Uh…helloooo?" the shy voice of Stevie said and everyone turned to look at him.

A long haired blond child with a red cape wrapped around his small body, was holding Stevie with one hand, while the other hand was holding a hammer.

"This friend…I like him."

Fury's eyes widened.

"Thor NO!"

"ANOTHER!"

* * *

ehehehehe oh Thor ^_^ That was the end of part one. Hope you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for next chapter, where Fury takes up on babysitter duties. Bye-bye!


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